Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. We in the West are not all this stupid, honestly! Shop carefully!

1. On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."

2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: use like regular soap."

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: defrost."

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down."

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

7. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

9. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

10. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."